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”An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: “Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?” To which the blonde man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A friend told the blonde man: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.” The blonde man then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: “What if one explodes before we get there?” The other says: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: “Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.” To which the blonde man replied: “Well the joke’s on all of you because I wasn’t even at home yesterday!LEXOPHILIA- WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?A lexophile of course!• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.• I tried to. “Well who the hell are you to decide what’s right? Are you on some kind of mission from God or something? How do you even know about me? How did you even know I had a sister?” And as an afterthought: “And how does that damned remote work?”She sighed like she was dealing with a recalcitrant child. “It’s as simple as this.” She reached up to touch my face and I got that odd tingle again. “The moment I make contact with you, I know what’s in your mind. That includes what you feel about Sherry, although even you didn’t know you were feeling it at the time I set this play in motion. At least you hadn’t given it any conscious thought. The fact that she responded at all to your suggestions means that she was feeling the same about you. All I did was provide you an opportunity to realize what was in your heart all along. Don’t you see that now?”Now I was even more confused. “No, I don’t see it! What about the remote? I can’t even figure out how it works because there’s nothing inside.
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